I was born in 1987 and have since been 'going with the flow', eventhough the flow isnt as smooth or as clear as I planned it to be but I kept on 'riding' it. Hoping that someday I will be where I wanted to be. But now I think Ive been riding a different current flow and its impossible to go back. I thought I was on the right track all along until now...
You know when you were just in middle school or high school, when people would ask you what you're going to do after graduating or what you'll be, you would always know what you're going to be and what you're going to do. Well at least I did. I knew that I was going to be an engineer, either a software engineer or an electronics engineer.
Back then during my university years, I thought I had drew the 'perfect blueprint' for my future and all I had to do was just execute it. After getting my degree and my first job at an international semi-conductor production company everything went so well up until, my dad had a stroke. His left brain was defected, his movement were limited because of it. I was living in a different State when working with the company. And when that happened I took a month off from work to look after him and eventually after he wasnt showing any improvement at all, I decided to quit my job, move back home and focusing on my dad's healthcare. I used all the money I had arranging meetings with a few neurosurgeons and buying medications for my dad.
It was a huge turning point in my life. we all have that dont we. that turning point where your life just went 360. Maybe your is different from mine but still that one common point where you just do it after evaluating every possible solution and you would just have to take the risk. Some people did it to reach for their dreams. Some did it to make a change in life. And in my case, I did it to save my loved ones.
So 3 years have past.
Now, I have a new job. Working in my hometown. And it had nothing to do with what I studied in college but I cant complain, the salary is quite good... better infact. But the down side, its just not as enjoyable and exciting as my previous job. Should I keep doing it? or quit. I dont know the answer to that question. Honestly I dont. I lost my 'blueprint'.
Should I just make a new one? a new 'blueprint', with a totally new 'plan and drawings'? Maybe I can consider that but I dont know if I will like the new 'blueprint' and if I have the energy to make a new one.
Im exhausted.
